yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
