And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
