when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
