Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
