We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
