the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
