It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
