This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I believe in your delicious
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
