Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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