New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
