After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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