i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
