I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
