she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
