so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
