How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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