I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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