They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
