I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
