I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
