Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
