I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
