Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
