Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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