i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
