dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
