He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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