if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
