Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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