: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
