Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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