i permit you to call me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
