Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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