just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
where are my eyebrows?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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