I hate all girls vehemently.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
