This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
