My first STD was from a foam party
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize