Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You are a genius and a whore.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
