You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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