it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
