Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
