its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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