i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
