with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
