Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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