ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
