I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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