my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
