White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
