Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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