a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
