Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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