In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
