She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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